Two-sided life of AIDS patients: fear of being abandoned and hiding in the toilet to take medicine

December 1 is "World AIDS Day". When many volunteers tie red silk and take to the streets to promote AIDS knowledge and prevention, there is a group of people hiding in the shadow kick ass , fighting against the terrible AIDS disease.

According to the estimates of the World Health Organization, there are about 740000 people living with HIV and patients in China, each of which corresponds to a living individual.

Recently, the reporter came to Heze and listened to the feelings of an AIDS patient.

I am glad that you offered to shake my hand.

I am 47 years old this year, so I will not say what my name is. You also know the reason. Although AIDS publicity is carried out year after year and it is said that the normal contact with the disease is not contagious, I am still afraid, mainly because I am afraid of being disliked by the people around me. I still have a son who is not married, for fear of affecting his marriage.

Now I live as if I were wearing a mask. He is a patient at home and behaves like a normal person. Although I look strong now, I know there is a demon inside me that could kill me at any moment. Over the years, I have become less afraid of death, but I have to take care of my family. I can't let my family be discriminated against.

Not many people know that I have this disease, in addition to my family, there are also some suspicions in the village. My own people won't say anything about me, but there are still some people in the village pointing fingers at me. All I remember is that once the neighbor's eldest brother was playing with his grandson. I went over to say a few words and tried to touch the child's head. As a result, the eldest brother's face changed, held out his hand and left with the child in his arms. At that moment, I really wanted to find a hole in the ground to get into it. How did I become a person like the god of plague?

But I don't blame him. I've had so many embarrassing things over the years, and I'm used to it. Now I do not take the initiative to shake hands, do not touch other people's children, do not go to other people's houses to eat, do not use other people's things, in short, do not touch, so as not to make others afraid. But you just offered to shake my hand, I am still happy from the bottom of my heart.

Last year I had a grandson and I loved him very much, but I still seldom hugged him. My wife didn't know, and my son didn't say anything, but I had a shadow in my heart and was afraid for no reason.



After a blood sale, the nightmare began.

How did I become a human being and a ghost? That was caused by selling blood in 1994, when a "blood head" in the village said that he could change 55 yuan for only 5 milliliters of blood. At that time, it was only ten yuan to work outside for a day, and five milliliters was only a little bit, which should be harmless to the body. More than a dozen people from the same village and I followed him to a health clinic in Huixian County, Henan Province.

It was agreed to smoke only 5 milliliters, but the nurse in the mask smoked all the time and had to smoke 700 milliliters to stop. I was very angry, and the "blood head" explained that he would smoke so much first and then inject it back into the body later.

After waiting for two hours, sure enough, he was called for a blood transfusion. I went in and saw that there was a big container with a lot of blood mixed together. The nurse drew a big syringe of blood and gave it back to the people who had drawn the blood one by one. I also lost it.

Later, I learned that it was the blood residue after the extraction of serum protein, and they gave it to us again when it was useless. A lot of people's blood was mixed together, so I was infected with AIDS. At first I felt that my life was bad, but now I think it is really caused by ignorance. At that time, half of the people who sold blood together got sick. Who is to blame? It's my ignorance.

That's when the nightmare began. Soon after, I felt weak all over. I always caught a cold. It was not good to take medicine. I had to hang the bottle. It was not until 2003, when two people died in the village. We went to sell blood together, not old, about forty years old, boring, feverish, lying in the hospital a little thin, blistering, slowly thinning to death. There was no cause of disease at that time, and people in the village said it was a strange disease.

After they died, the district suddenly asked them to go to the hospital for a physical examination, saying that they would check for hepatitis B. About half a year after the investigation, a person came to my family, said that the CDC, he told me that I had AIDS, I had not heard of AIDS at that time, just feel strange, I am in good health, how can I get sick? He saw that I did not believe it, so he introduced the symptoms and harm of the disease, and said that the first two people in the village died of AIDS.

Afraid of being seen, sometimes go to the toilet to take medicine

I was suddenly blindfolded, my head boomed, and the sky seemed to collapse.

At that time, I couldn't recover. I dreamt that I was dead and covered with sores. I couldn't sleep and was in a daze all night. My wife followed me to tears and comforted me. Without her, I would have left.

Oh, my God. My wife and kids are fine. We used a contraceptive ring at that time, never used a condom, and we didn't infect her for more than 9 years. I have to thank God. Because of this, I think we have to keep on living.

Since 2004, I have been taking medicine, which is provided by the CDC and is free of charge. At first, it was very painful to take the medicine. After taking it, I threw up, and then I took it again. Sometimes I took the medicine three or four times and spit out the bitter water. But I had to live, so I kept on eating.

After taking the medicine, I obviously feel that the condition can be controlled. I have been tested twice a year for 7 years. CT4 (the CT4 in the blood of normal people should be about 800, but when this value is less than 200, the patient needs to take medicine) is generally 700 or 800, but it dropped to more than 100 when he did not take the medicine at that time.

Day by day, it seems that like a normal person, I work in the fields, go out to work, build a house for my children and marry a wife, but only I know my pain. For so many years, I took medicine every day with outsiders behind my back. Sometimes I went to my relatives' house and took a small medicine bottle with me. When people couldn't see it, I quickly swallowed it, and sometimes I was afraid that people would go to the toilet to take medicine.

What is even more frightening is that I am worried about the disease. I know that the disease will happen sooner or later, but I just don't know the date. I live day by day as if I had one foot outside and the other foot in the grave. "Blood" is really a trick, I wish I could kill him at that time.

Now three of them have gone to sell blood together. Although they usually have a good relationship squirting dildo , I dare not go to see them when they get sick. I am like seeing myself in the future, and the fear in my heart cannot be said.

In "sweet home", I don't feel lonely and afraid.

To tell you the truth, I am so lonely in my heart that I can't say anything to my wife. She didn't say a word to blame me or give me a pussy face chastity cages , but I knew she was suffering, and I couldn't put any more burden on her.

AIDS and cancer are both terminal diseases, but people have different views. Apart from the fact that it is an infectious disease, it also has something to do with the route of transmission that everyone has before. some people will think that people who have this disease are not good things and are very dirty. I can't tell everyone that I'm infected by selling blood, can I?

Some AIDS patients live longer than cancer patients, and some can live for more than 20 years, but I would rather I have cancer. In that way, I can at least lie in bed and accept the sympathy and care of others.

It's different now. I'm obviously terminally ill, but I can't say it. I can't tell if I'm suffering. You have to pretend to be like a healthy person in front of outsiders. Once you catch a cold and always cough, you will tell people that you are too tired to be physically fit. I haven't been out for a few days, and when I go out, I always feel that other people look at me differently. This is all in the heart.

I just feel like I'm living like a two-faced man.

At least the government did not discriminate against us. I am not singing a high profile. I am really grateful to the Government and the local CDC for their help. In addition to providing a minimum living allowance and waiving children's tuition fees, the district has also set up a "warm home" for us AIDS patients. Every other month, everyone gets together to chat and communicate with each other to exchange treatment effects and experiences. At that time, I didn't feel lonely and afraid.

From December 1 to every year remote control vibrator , it has become our holiday, and everyone feels concerned about it. But after this day, life returned to normal. Really hope that one day, AIDS patients like a cold, can openly show their pain and pain, can cry happily, can get everyone's sympathy and care.
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