American psychologist Dr. Natalie Bator believes that it is more urgent and important for mothers to talk about sex with their daughters than ever before. Girls are now under a lot of sexual pressure; by the age of 19, 50% of American girls have become pregnant, she said.
How much do we have to tell our daughters about our sexual experiences?
The following is an excerpt of her conversation when Jennifer Frey, a reporter for people Weekly, interviewed her.
Our daughter needs an open conversation with us, but that doesn't mean we have to make our private lives public. If your daughter asks you about your sex life with your husband, you can answer them like this: "I don't want to talk too much about details." This is a very special thing between me and your father, just like what happens between you and the person you fall in love with in the future. " I think they'll believe that.
Is it difficult to explain desire to your daughter?
The question of sexual desire depends on how you look at it. Different people have different views. You can tell your daughter that even if she admits that she has this desire, she is still a good girl. Want to dress up sexy, want to wear beautiful clothes, want to use better perfume, it all has something to do with desire. It is also normal for women to have sexual desire. Don't just talk about sexual desire and regard girls as debauchery or classify them as bad guys. I think we should affirm women's sexual desire. This is a manifestation of our power to be women.
Is there anyone who can't communicate with their daughter about sex?
Some people do feel uncomfortable talking about sex with their daughters. She doesn't feel well psychologically. Some of the mothers I came into contact with in the study said, "it's too hard for me." Some people are even embarrassed to talk about menstruation. But they should know that they live in a society that has never taken the issue of "mother-daughter talking about sex" seriously. They've been through everything, but they don't know how to do it. I said, "you should tell your daughter what you have done and thought about. It's good for them. "
How should mothers and sons talk about sex?
We often neglect to talk about sex with our son. Although girls can get pregnant and sex is important to them, sex is also important to their sons. Fathers should often tell them about date rape and sexual violence, so that they can get rid of these incidents caused by emotional loss of control. And let them gradually build up a sense of responsibility on sexual issues.
On this issue, the role of the father is exactly the same as that of the mother-not necessarily between mother and daughter, father and son. The ideal scenario is at the dinner table, where both the son and daughter are present
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The last piece of advice to my mother
It is better to talk openly sooner rather than later.
Sexual knowledge needs to be educated at six o'clock.
1. After the child is born, no matter what the gender is, the choice of name, dress and daily necessities should not be confused, lest the child form a sexual hazy consciousness to himself and others from an early age, thus affecting the child's sexual orientation.
2. When children can understand language
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3. Free exploration of one's own body is a good beginning of healthy sex education. In family life, parents should choose the right time, such as taking a bath, before going to bed, etc., to naturally let their children know their bodies, especially to let their children realize that their reproductive organs are as mysterious as other organs of the human body. and guide children to keep themselves clean and develop good hygiene habits.
4. When children ask questions about sex, parents should not avoid them, but should answer them in words and ways that their children can understand and accept
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5. The problems often encountered should be properly understood. For example, how are people born? We can start from the flowering and fruiting of plants, and then relate to human sex and reproduction, or we can make an exemplary analogy from the reproductive activities of animals. A simple introduction to the physiology of human reproduction will help children understand the problem. Sex education should not only be truthful, but not too complicated; it should not only encourage children's curiosity, but also naturally delay understanding of some specific details into their future lives.
6. The model of parents' own behavior is also very important. Sincere, harmonious and moral feelings between parents, to set a good example for children, will make children love life, love life, correctly deal with sexual problems.
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