There is no need to be too nervous in family sex education. Correctly enlighten children on gender.

Nowadays, the hearts of the people in the society are complicated, and the cases of sexual harassment of children are gradually increasing, and many parents are busy with sex education for their children. However butt , it seems unnecessary to teach their children to be "all soldiers". However, in the face of these sensitive issues, many parents do not know how to talk about how to "get to the point." after several hesitations, they finally had to vaguely tell their children, "go straight home after school!"

Nowadays, the hearts of the people in the society are complicated, and the cases of sexual harassment of children are gradually increasing, and many parents are busy with sex education for their children. However, it seems unnecessary to teach their children to be "all soldiers". However, in the face of these sensitive issues, many parents do not know how to talk about how to "get to the point." after several hesitations, they finally had to vaguely tell their children, "go straight home after school!"

Is such "sex education" enough? Do you want to try a more positive approach? Here are a few principles for reference:

First, talk about sexual organs in the correct noun: "have you washed your penis clean?" "my sister's breasts are getting bigger, so I have to wear a bra." …… This kind of words can be explained naturally with these nouns: "even when you wear a swimsuit, you can't expose your penis, buttocks, and a girl's breasts and pussy. These are the most precious places in the human body, so you can't let others see or touch them casually!"

Second, learn what a "sexual" touch is. You can play a "hand game" with your child. ── asks your child to hold out your hand. You can "hold it hard", "gently scratch with your fingertips", "rub your hand with your palm". Ask him how he feels and what is the "sexual" touch and which is not. In this way, children will not refuse warm and kind hugs from their elders for fear of choking.

Third, you can't just beware of strangers, maybe even relatives or elders. Don't just teach children to beware of strangers, but teach them how to judge "inappropriate" behavior and unsafe situations.

Fourth, always accept complaints from children, no matter what problems, you can tell the parents, and will not be scolded. Parents can show your flexibility and receptive attitude towards things on weekdays, so that their children have more sense of security. In case something happens unfortunately, I will not face it quietly and alone.

Is your sex education too "tense"? May need to make some additions!

Correctly enlighten children on gender

Gender differences have already appeared in the fetus at three months, and men and women can be distinguished at a glance at birth, which is a biological difference. By the age of 4, most children have been able to correctly identify their own gender and that of others. This kind of "psychology" confirms whether they are male or female, which is called "sexual self-recognition" or "sexual identification". If this period is not handled or guided properly, it will lead to "sexual recognition disorder"-clearly a normal male or female, but strongly stubbornly believes that he is of the opposite sex and accepts the temperament, movements, habits and clothing of the opposite sex. Some people even develop into sexual psychological disorders.

Gender differences have already appeared in the fetus at three months, and men and women can be distinguished at a glance at birth, which is a biological difference. By the age of 4, most children have been able to correctly identify their own gender and that of others. This kind of "psychology" confirms whether they are male or female, which is called "sexual self-recognition" or "sexual identification". If this period is not handled or guided properly, it will lead to "sexual recognition disorder"-clearly a normal male or female, but strongly stubbornly believes that he is of the opposite sex and accepts the temperament, movements, habits and clothing of the opposite sex. Some people even develop into sexual psychological disorders.

Case 1 fake play is really done

Xiaohong's mother thinks that quiet, handsome and slightly shy girls are more attractive, and that only by decorating their children by various means can they show their mother's talent and aesthetic taste. As a result, her son Xiaohong has been inextricably bound with fat powder, skirts and braids since he was a child. Xiao Hong has always been very obedient, but also often get "beautiful", "gentle and quiet" praise, mother is also happy to be proud. Unexpectedly, Xiao Hong didn't fall in love for a long time after he grew up. Under the urging and introduction of his parents, although he came into contact with many girls, he all ended in failure. He only fell in love with a man in the same unit, who beat him and scolded him, and he bought cigarettes and alcohol for others. Now, the mother is in a hurry, but Xiao Hong is stuck in the homosexual tendency.

Although the reasons for the formation of homosexuality are complicated, the cognitive barriers created by parents in terms of their children's gender identity cannot but be said to be a reason. Adults direct "fake" plays, but children do "real" ones. Over time, the child integrates into the role of the opposite sex from the outside to the inner world.

Gender differences have already appeared in the fetus at three months, and men and women can be distinguished at a glance at birth, which is a biological difference. By the age of 4, most children have been able to correctly identify their own gender and that of others. This kind of "psychology" confirms whether they are male or female, which is called "sexual self-recognition" or "sexual identification". If this period is not handled or guided properly, it will lead to "sexual recognition disorder"-clearly a normal male or female, but strongly stubbornly believes that he is of the opposite sex and accepts the temperament, movements, habits and clothing of the opposite sex. Some people even develop into sexual psychological disorders.

Therefore, parents have the responsibility to cultivate their children's "sexual roles" from the moment the baby is born. In this process, can not tolerate any distortion and affectation, is that the boy will let him into the boy's world, like the love of men, for men to do.

Case 2 Maternal Love Mowgli

One day, four sobbing adults surrounded a 13-year-old boy who was in a trance and muttered to himself, "I am guilty, I have committed rape." Take me to the public security station and shoot me. " . The boy's mother cried gay dildo , "the child goes to boarding school and studies well, but he is often melancholy." A month ago, the students talked about the plot of the 'pornographic video'. After listening to it, the children were nervous, scared, unwilling to study, always saying that they were guilty and unwilling to go home, and many treatments did not work. "

It is understood that the boy is the "pearl" of the family and has never been frustrated. Since childhood, he has slept in the same bed with his mother at home every night, and he has to touch his mother's breasts before falling asleep. This is the crux of the problem. The abnormal mother-son relationship leads to the boy's sexual psychological disorder and makes it difficult for him to adapt to the environment, especially when he goes to society and hears some sexual information from his classmates, he has a sense of disgust and fear of his previous behavior. coupled with the lack of correct understanding of sexual knowledge, there is a "bad feeling of sexual crime" and thinks that this is the crime of rape. The mother was stunned and said repeatedly: "I am his mother. What does it have to do with sleeping together? maternal love is Wuji."

Indeed, maternal love is the greatest and most selfless love in the world. However, for sons, mothers are also heterosexual, and a large number of studies have shown that mother's behavior has a significant impact on children's sexual and psychological development. Premature sexual stimulation to children, including sexual exposure from parents penis vibrator , hearing sexual conversations and being caressed by adults, is considered to be one of the causes of sexual metamorphosis in adults. In reality, mothers are not alone in bathing and sleeping with big boys out of love, but they do not realize that this is not conducive to the child's mental health, and maternal love should be moderate.

Case 3, two small guesses.

A female college student cried painfully to the doctor: "A male classmate in the university wanted to make friends with me. I longed for it, but I had an uncontrollable fear of being hurt, so I was in a trance and couldn't sleep at night. I can't go to school."

Upon inquiry, she was joked by her parents and the parents of a neighbor's boy of the same age when she was a child. At that time, the two children often played together, gradually imitating adults to kiss, and had the experience of touching each other's genitals. Until I was in primary school, I regarded this kind of "sexual activity" as a shame and put an end to too many contacts. After the age of 11, she often felt fear that her precious virginity had ceased to exist. Especially recently, whenever she heard about love, she felt a strong sense of guilt. Psychiatrists diagnosed that this is due to childhood sexual games caused by "chastity" anxiety.

From the age of 3 or 4, children begin to recognize the differences between male and female genitals and become curious about the genitals of adults or other children. Sexual games often occur if they are misguided. When it enters puberty and has a vague understanding of sex, it will have self-blame because of this phenomenon, affecting the normal development of sexual psychology, and some will lead to sexual metamorphosis.

According to statistics, this kind of "no guess" seldom develops into a normal marriage. Therefore, parents should not casually play sexual jokes with their children. The normal development of sexual psychology affects a person's life. The sexual psychological disorder of many adults, sexual metamorphosis begins in childhood, which is the result of the disturbance of sexual psychological development of infants and young children. Therefore, we should pay attention to the development of infant sexual psychology. Children have the closest contact with their parents from an early age. It is very important to protect a young and pure childlike innocence so that she will not be hurt by her parents' negligence.

Correctly guide the child through the "sexual bud period"

Children about 3 years old are in a special stage of sexual psychological development, which is called "sexual bud period" psychologically. If the parents are not educated properly at this stage, the child's sexual and psychological development can be frustrated and have a more far-reaching negative impact.

Children about 3 years old are in a special stage of sexual psychological development, which is called "sexual bud period" psychologically. If the parents are not educated properly at this stage, the child's sexual and psychological development can be frustrated and have a more far-reaching negative impact.

In the "sexual bud period", the sexual psychology of young children can have the following characteristics:

Sexual curiosity when children begin to realize the gender differences between men and women, they may be curious to see what the genitals of the opposite sex look like. If parents find that their children have this kind of behavior, they should not beat and scold their children, otherwise girls are prone to the concept of "sexual sin", and boys are prone to sexual coldness in adulthood, and boys are prone to voyeurism in adulthood.

Sexual pride when boys find that they have a "chick" while girls do not, some boys will deliberately "show off" in front of adults, such as shooting urine high in front of relatives and friends, in order to show that they have a "chick". If parents find that their children have such behavior, they should not beat and scold them, but calmly and naturally remind their children not to urinate in public. If it is not handled properly, the child's rebellious psychology will be suppressed, and it is easy to appear "exhibitionism" in adulthood.

Children about 3 years old often begin to have a great interest in their genitals and can get pleasure from playing with their genitals, resulting in masturbation habits. If parents find that their children have this bad habit, they should neither panic nor beat and scold. To do so, often not only useless, but harmful, easy to make children psychologically hit and produce the concept of "sexual sin", adult impotence or apathy is often related to this.

For children whose gender identity is chaotic at the age of 3, parents should clearly tell the boy that they will be a man like their father when they grow up, and that they will be a woman like their mother when they grow up. Never dress a boy as a girl or a girl as a boy according to your "wish", otherwise children may have gender identity confusion and homosexuality, transvestitism and transsexuality in adulthood.

How to deal with children's sexual activities

Children's sexual activities are unconscious, unstable, or even blind, and parents should take appropriate ways to help their children correct them. Do not let children sleep in the same bed with their parents, so as to avoid their children's sexual feelings induced by their parents' unintentional touch of the child's sexual excitement area during sleep.

Children's activities should be enriched to make them diversified and interesting. Cultivate children's various hobbies, so that the child's mind and energy are devoted to the activities he is interested in, such as painting, playing mind games and so on.

Try to reduce the stimulation of induced activities in the environment, parents should behave themselves, children's underwear should be loose, do not let children engage in possible irritant areas, such as tree climbing, holding pillows and so on.

For older children, parents can appropriately impart some common sense of sex, give more guidance in the usual conversation, and can use stories, metaphors and other ways to explain the phenomena of fertility, love and so on.

When parents find that there are sexual games such as watching and touching each other between their children, they should stop them in time, but pay attention to the methods, not scolding, beating and scolding, but to explain the truth and guide them correctly.

If the child really can not overcome this bad habit and affects the normal life, parents should contact the doctor to find the root cause and eliminate the hidden danger.

When children raise sexual questions, parents should take advantage of the situation and do the following:

1. When children ask sexual questions, they should answer lightly, do not cheat, do not be embarrassed, and do not have a sense of mystery. Because children's sexual questions are often careless, without much deliberation, and without any malicious thoughts, parents should understand this and answer questions frankly. Parents' embarrassment and shyness can only aggravate their children's curiosity and make them bear the questions in mind.

2. Use scientific terms to explain the genitals of men and women, and tell children how to protect it, not to play with it casually. When answering the child's questions, do not exceed the child's curiosity and understanding ability, answer specific questions remote vibrator , not too deep and detailed, should be easy to understand, full of confidence.

3. When answering questions, you should be resolute, concise and clear. You should show authoritative and conclusive meaning in your tone. Do not extend it, nor should you encourage children to initiate associations.

In short, when answering children's sexual questions, parents should be appropriate and natural in language and expression.

Why not disguise a child as a woman or a woman as a man

From the perspective of sexual psychological development, whether men disguise themselves as women or women disguise themselves as men are harmful. Psychologists believe that gender roles are formed about before the child is three years old.

Therefore, the environment, rearing style and parents' attitude before the age of three have a significant impact on the gender psychology of children. If the parents dress the boy in women's clothes and raise him according to the girl, it is easy for the boy to regard himself as the same person as the girls around him. In terms of expression, behavior and dress up, he will try to imitate the girl and become a feminized boy. Many morbidity of sexual psychology is induced by this. After growing up, some young men and women still like to wear heterosexual clothes and pursue heterosexual clothes, so that they can not adapt to normal social life, which is called transvestite in abnormal psychology. When other men and women mature, they not only do not sprout their admiration for the opposite sex, but love people of the same gender. This is what people call homosexuality. The above situation shows that physical gender and psychological gender do not necessarily overlap and may even be the opposite under special conditions.

Parents must not ignore the facts of nature out of their own wishes, do not artificially choose the gender for their children, and do not disguise their children as women or men. Should respect the child's gender, in accordance with the child's physical gender requirements to cultivate the child, so that the child's sexual and psychological healthy development, otherwise it is easy to delay the child, the consequences are unimaginable.
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