The source of children's sexual knowledge is incorrect. Improper sex education is shrouded in the shadow of childhood.

A kissing contest was held publicly in Chengdu, leaving onlookers at a loss what to do: "where am I from?" Children usually ask their parents this question. Parents are the first teachers of their children, and sex education is no exception. However, the survey found that most parents in Kunming usually talk about "sex" color change, and the family's early sex education is in a blank state.

Children's sexual questions

"I'm most afraid of children asking me such strange questions." Many parents cannot take the initiative to talk to their children about sex, let alone how to answer it. Parents usually hesitate to reply rose toy , "you were picked up in the mountains; your father planted a seed in your mother's belly, and that's where you germinated and took it out of your mother's belly when you grew up." Some children believe that they do not know how people are conceived and born until they are mature, and when they reach the age of marriage, they still do not know what husband and wife life means.

When some children read the word "condom" in magazines or books, they ask their parents, "'what is a condom? What is its use? " When some children see the sexual behavior of animals on TV programs or magazines, they ask their parents why animals do so. Some parents adopt a prevaricating attitude, while others say, "Don't ask about these things. You'll know when you grow up." Some parents take a cover-up attitude to their children's questions, fearing that their children will know about sex.

Parents think their children have become "bad".

Mother Ms. Wang said, "I will euphemistically tell my daughter some of the things I see as if I were telling a story." The sexual confusion of modern teenagers and many mistakes occur not because of intention but because of ignorance.

When children want to know about sex and related sexual knowledge, especially when they have sexual impulses adult toys , many parents often think that their children are going to learn bad, which is a sign of unhealthy thinking and consciousness. So he reprimanded the child, even beat and scolded the child, thinking that it was shameful for the child to talk about sex. The scolding of parents makes some children feel a sense of remorse or even guilt about some normal physical and psychological reactions in their growth and development. For example, masturbation is a common way to resolve sexual impulses in adolescence, because many teenagers do not know the causes of masturbation and its physical effects, and are ashamed to ask their parents for advice, so they are unable to extricate themselves and bear a heavy ideological burden. this is extremely disadvantageous to the physical and mental development of teenagers.

In the survey, more than half of the parents said that when children with headaches ask questions about sex, they usually answer them simply or adopt an evasive attitude. On the other hand, experts in psychological education for children say that the more parents are afraid of their children knowing, the more curious their children will be and the more they will want to know. If children cannot learn about sex from the right channels, they will seek satisfaction from other channels (such as pornographic books, websites, etc.), and some children take the method of peeping into the bodies of the opposite sex to satisfy their own sexual curiosity.

The way of sexual knowledge comes from the Internet.

In the follow-up and survey of nearly 50 primary and secondary school students, it is found that 36 of them do not know what sexual assault is. Their knowledge about sex usually comes from books, newspapers and magazines, film and television works, computer networks and "other people's talk", but they get very little from teachers and listen to their parents.

On the streets of Kunming and in front of the bus platform, you can often see "middle school lovers" holding hands, hugging and kissing. Many primary and secondary school students do not deny that they have dated the opposite sex and claim to have a lover. Medical advertisements such as "easy, painless abortion" mislead many children into thinking that sex will not do any harm to the body in the context of high-tech technology.

In the face of prematurely mature teenagers, younger and younger girls in the crowd room, and the lost eyes of the prison, many teachers and parents are very worried about this.

The curriculum of sex education lags behind.

The survey also found that the curriculum arrangement of sex education in primary and secondary schools in Kunming lags behind.

Chen, a biology teacher at a middle school in Kunming, said that the advance of individual puberty is already a common problem. At present, the time of sexual maturity of Chinese men and women is obviously earlier than that of 10 years ago. Due to the influence of factors such as improved nutrition and increased intake of food and drugs containing hormones in recent years, the age of adolescent development has generally advanced by 2 to 3 years, and the emergence of secondary sexual characteristics has been advanced from 12 to 13 years old to about 7 years old now.

Adolescent physiology is very easy to change, sexual physiological development promotes the rapid development of sexual consciousness, they will feel confused and confused about their own physiological changes, and urgently need adult guidance. However, the reality is that the sex education that escorts this precocious puberty lags behind.

Improper sex education is shrouded in childhood.

Sex education is often inseparable from personality education. If parents' personality cultivation is not sound, it will also affect his or her future sex life.

What to do if the old woman's sexual desire is too strong? why can't the penis be inserted into the vagina to pull out the best part of my wife? how do I play tricks to make my private parts "hold" the penis more tightly? please don't try the tenderness under the bed.

Case one

He: fall in love but don't touch me

On June 6, a girl named "Xiao Li" sent an email for help, not to herself, but to her boyfriend, a boy who dared not be "close to a girl".

". My boyfriend grew up in a big female family because he grew up, and he was the smallest and spoiled at home, so although his words and behavior were not too feminine, he was not bold enough to face girls and was a little introverted. After dating me, he didn't even dare to hold hands, let alone get closer. When it came to love and sex, he was too shy to speak. Although he will also have a normal physical reaction, but I am very worried about whether I will have sexual happiness with him. "

Xiao Li asked anxiously in her email, "in what way should I guide him?" What books or movies do you want him to read? Is this a psychological problem? How can we get him out of the strange circle that is not close to women? Ask for advice, look forward to reply and get an answer. "

Case two

She: she won't let me see her body.

Coincidentally, on June 7, the reporter saw such a case on the Internet: when she was newly married, Miss Wen asked her husband why she liked to have sex with the lights on. The husband said affectionately, "because I want to see you." When she heard this, she frowned and said, "I'm so thin, what's there to see?" The husband said, "what's wrong with being thin?" I like it. " Miss Wen was silent for a long time, but at last she said something that puzzled her husband: "in fact, you don't have to be so kind to me."

For the next two years, Miss Wen has been afraid of sexual activities. Every time she had sex, she was highly nervous and anxious, and adopted a completely passive and uncooperative attitude. She had only one thought in her mind, hoping that the matter would be over as soon as possible. The husband who loves Miss Wen deeply is puzzled.

Their fear comes from growing up.

After seeing a doctor, Miss Wen knew the cause. She was very thin and timid when she was a child. in order to train her to be bold, her parents decided that she should sleep in a room alone, and she was not allowed to sleep with the lights on. Once, when she was sleeping at night, a cat kept barking outside the window. Miss Wen was so scared that she began to cry. When her mother came in, Miss Wen thought her mother would hold her in her arms to comfort her, but as a result, her mother said contemptuously, "Why are you crying? it's really useless!" With that, he turned off the lights and left. Since then, Miss Wen has become more and more unconfident about herself, but her appreciation in the face of her lover has been regarded as torture.

On the other hand, Xiao Li's boyfriend, who grew up in a female environment, took good care of him and did not have to worry about anything, but it also caused him to be worried and timid about things he was not familiar with but had to deal with on his own. such as intercourse with the opposite sex.

Improper education makes children afraid of sex.

There are psychopathological differences in patients with sexual phobia. the different mentality of sexual fear makes them either adopt destructive avoidance mode or adopt constructive and positive adaptive attitude. These patients are generally physically poor and fragile chastity cages , and their parents' attitude towards them from an early age has a direct impact on the occurrence and development of their phobia and even the outcome of treatment.

Usually, the parents of these patients hold the following three attitudes towards their anxiety from an early age: first, they refuse to appease their children, asking them to overcome the psychological obstacles of anxiety alone; second, they take care too much and try not to let their children experience setbacks as much as possible. The two different attitudes of their parents make them have different attitudes towards sexual phobia when they grow up.

For example, like Miss Wen, she has been criticized by her parents from an early age. When faced with sexual fear, she takes a negative attitude and refuses to accept help, believing that she has no right to enjoy sex.

And like Xiao Li's boyfriend, he was overly cared for when he was a child and did not experience setbacks, which led to him not knowing how to face sexual contact.

Give him a little more love.

Xiao Li is advised to be more patient with her boyfriend and even take her boyfriend's sister as an example. When you see your brother-in-law courting your sister, give your boyfriend a hint: in fact, you can do the same.

Two people can also go to the cinema to watch some romantic films to let him know what people are like in love and what they will do. If he still doesn't dare, you can tell him clearly: I hope you can. And when he takes the first step, give him a little encouragement: "I like you like this."

In addition, to test whether your boyfriend knows the basic knowledge of sex, if not, you can find some books on sex education to read with him; if he does, then what you need to do is to enlighten him patiently. If you really love him, let go of some reserve and take the initiative.
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